This has been one of those days, and I've searched for the right words to express why this lump is in my throat and why my eyes have filled with tears constantly through this day. My daughter will be leaving me soon for college, my dad left me 17 years ago in October and I miss him every day, my mom will be 80 soon, my work is becoming more real to me, but according to Chuck Close, because I look for inspiration I am still an amateur..... but here is the clincher, the thing that turned this day totally in to a shit pile: I had a meet and greet at the Artscenter where I teach for a Raku workshop I will be offering, and my shelf, the shelf that I have had for almost six years, had been cleaned off, all my stuff boxed up and put in the storage room. There is a reason, and it isn't personal, I don't think, but it was a hurtful feeling since all the other assistants and teachers still have their shelves and it has been the final straw to put me in a pity party. Tomorrow will be a great day with the bloggers at our show, and the lights will switch back to bright, but this has sure been a dimly lit day. I found this poem on the blog 37 days, great blog, thought it fit for a lot of us, enjoy.......
Because you are a lover and an artist,
you will have occasion (many, actually)
to open your chest... pull out a ruby...
offer it to The World (or someone in The World)...
and it will be received with as much enthusiasm
as a piece of gum. Chewed, slathered upon, and spat.
This happens to ruby-hearted people who are responsible
for bringing through every shade of r.e.d. in the spectrum
from the gentlest pink to the baddest-assed bordeaux.
This is no small role to play -- carrying around rubies
in your heart -- and offering the spectrum of r.e.d.,
the tastes of strawberries and mesquite, the squealing sounds
of pain and delight, the heat of hugs and blazes.
We, heart-bearers of r.e.d. rubies love and create
like no one's business because, for us, it ain't business.
And on those days when your beingness feels
chewed, slathered upon, and spat.
KNOW-know-know that nothing is wasted.
Everything is useful for the deepening of your pigment
the deliciousizing of your flavor, the longevity of your flames.
It's all good. Eventually. Assuredly. Good. All of it.