I have something that has been on my mind and it won't go away. I find that if I purge it all here on my blog it goes away and I feel so much better. So, I may regret this later, but I'm just going to say it anyway. It's my blog and I'm over 50 so I have excuses for my behavior :)
This began a while back when I stopped by a gallery in a nearby town to drop off some postcards and ask if I could show them some of my work. Without ever even looking up from her computer screen the gallery owner said sure, she would be glad to take a look at my work, never really acknowledging that I was actually standing right there in front of her. I found this behavior offensive, impolite and it made me feel extremely insignificant. Now, you know how artists are with self doubt when it comes to our work. I mean, I have all the self confidence in the world. I am not too bad looking, I am mostly a nice person, I will treat you right if you treat me right, sometimes I even brush my hair, I have a great family, I basically like my life and what I have done with it (for the most part). But I am an artist, and I do question my work from time to time, because there is so much great art out there to compare myself to, and one has to be careful, because when you start comparing yourself to others you walk on treacherous ground. So, when a gallery owner barely acknowledges you when you are standing right in front of them, here comes the doubt monster. So that happened and then she turned me down after all, stating that I was over represented, big fat lie there!
So then other things happened. I applied to Frank, the local "it for the moment" gallery. I got turned down. Yesterday, I was in there with a friend of mine, and there is a bunch of work in there that causes my eyebrow to raise and causes me to make faces, and I KNOW my work is better than a lot of work in there, so I say to myself WTF? and then we go into a local museum store across the street. This gallery buyer also said to me when replying to an email inquiry, "sure, please stop by any time and introduce yourself, we look forward to working with local artists". Soooo, I did stop by to introduce myself and this very same woman told me she did not have time for me, and that was the end of the conversation. Very impolite, again, feeling pretty insignificant here. And then yesterday, the cherry got put on top, so to speak. My friend and I went in. This woman appeared to basically develop a crush on my friend and actually interrupted a conversation my friend and I were having. She followed her around the store, it got weird, because my presence was never acknowledged at all. She said not one word to me.
So this leads me to wonder, do I become invisible from time to time, and I don't know that I have this magical power?
I know my work is fine for galleries, I sold both pieces last year in the very wonderful American Craft Today show at the very wonderful Bascom gallery, my work sold in the NC Landscape show at the VAE gallery, I sold a bunch of work at my solo show at the NC Craft gallery and I continue to get checks from them and the Bascom for work they have. I have decided that I want to sell to galleries and step away from the outdoor shows I have been doing. I would just as soon pay the commission to the galleries as pay booth fees and waste my day at these idiotic food fests. But, I don't want to work with assholes, so after Christmas I plan to start looking for charming, kind and artist friendly gallery owners and see if they want my work. There are some out there and I would love to work with them. Sara at the NC Craft gallery is one of the great ones. After I sent an inquiry to Crimson Laurel gallery recently I got a very warm and professional email reply and I hope to see them sometime in the new year. And there are others, so if I survive the CDCG show and the Chatham Studio tour, I am going gallery hunting with some new work I have in mind. That's the plan, and I'll take off the invisibility cloak when I go see them :)