I had my beads on sale yesterday for $2 a piece. The new ones I'm constructing were $10 because they are beautiful and I love them. Not that I don't like the $2 beads, it's just that my crush on them is over and I'm moving on. And I do also like the $2 shoppers because without them yesterday my sales would have been way less, so thanks to those that bought beads, I love you! But..... I had a little table set up with my antique printer's tray full of beads, and I would say that 90% of everyone that passed my booth at Festifall came directly to that table. They either pondered over the beads and most bought them, or they felt up my yo yo quilt that I was using as a table cloth. When it first started I would just say, yeah, I got it a long time ago, yes it is nice, yes it is an antique, yes it is valuable.... but this ended up being the focus of everyone's attention at Festifall. My f'ing yo yo quilt. I had beautiful barns and necklaces and raku pieces that I had worked for months on so these people could come and buy them and what did they want to talk to me about. A fucking quilt!!!!! By the end of the day, I was ready to put that thing on Ebay. Holy crap, it was madness, even Gerry finally had enough of it. At the end of the day I was so tired and punchy that when someone commented on it, I would burst out laughing. I think there were some people in my booth yesterday that ONLY saw that quilt and I would like to just smack those people!
I also feel that little self doubt monster creeping around today (maybe because my work was competing with a quilt someone at the turn of the 20th century made). You all know the one. When I look at what I presented yesterday, I can say without a doubt that I was proud of 99% of it. I am proud that the pieces I sold are being enjoyed by someone today. I was proud to see people come into my booth with one of my pendants on. Proud to see people that have bought from me in the past coming back for more. But then, I look at other people's work. Potters that are much better than me, jewelers that produce amazing pieces of art with metal, on and on. And I start that miserable comparison thing. " I wish I could do that, why can't my glaze look like that, why don't I like to make mugs", you know how this goes...... but then I also see people at festivals that are making crap, and I know my work is quality work and it's different and I know that people respond in a very positive way to my work. I had sooooo many compliments yesterday. So why do we doubt ourselves when we get such positive responses. Maybe it's what we need to always strive to be better, because that is what I want to do all the time. No matter what I make, I want it to be better, even if it is already pretty damn good. I want it to grow, to soar, to be better than the last piece I made, and it's doing that. I look at what I was making even two years ago and what is in my kiln right now, and my heart soars. And still, the little voices are back in there...... what am I doing this for, I'm tired, Deborah Fritts is a rock star, stuff like that!
One last thing I have to ponder today. There is the $200 barn shopper and the $2 bead shopper. I must love both of these shoppers, because the dollars in sales add up because of both of these, not from just one of them. Which causes me to develop the split personality syndrome, and that takes work to live with. I have to remind myself to be just as grateful for the college girl yesterday that parted with her hard earned $2 for a bead that she was so happy with as I am with the folks that want a really nice piece of art in their really nice home, that by the way they also work hard for. In the end, these are really the same people aren't they? They work hard for their money, they are out for a nice day, and they kindly bought something from me, loved it, and they now have something that brings joy to their lives in a positive way.
I'm not solving the problem with the oil companies and Dick Cheney is the antichrist, but I made a few people happy, so my life is good.
peace ya'll, thanks for letting me work this out in my head, I feel better now :)