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Sunday, January 4, 2015

So this is Christmas.........


Keeping it real, yo..... I really do not like this holiday! I respect the birth of Jesus and what this season is supposed to be about, but this is not what I signed up for!

Wesley and I sat in her bed today and cried together. We cried for many reasons, we talked, we laughed, we cried some more. This is the season for tears for many of us I'm afraid. It's a sad year for Gerry as he watches his mother slip farther and farther from him. He watches as his dad can't deal with the enormity of it all. Ger bought his mom an iPod shuffle after seeing a documentary of how music was awakening memories for dementia patients. We took it to her on Christmas eve. He put on it Christmas carols and her favorite gospel songs and songs from her past that might trigger memories. We watched as her eyes darted around, her mind woke up, she started clapping her hands, tapping her feet, then moving her legs, then remembering things. She enjoyed it and we enjoyed watching her. She smiled and joked and for just a moment we saw her come back briefly. She looked at Gerry and said "you are the cutest thing I have ever seen". 
But we had to leave, I don't know if anyone has bothered to put her headphones on since that day. 

I made the mistake of telling my mom about all of this two days ago, after not going to her house for Christmas. And so what do you think? Today I called her house and her husband was just getting home from taking her to the hospital. But, here's a big surprise, the doc could find nothing wrong with her. Perhaps he should talk to me.......

So, tomorrow Wesley and I are going to drive to the beach and go see what's up at the hospital, after nearly getting through this month without an epic. We almost made it.........  lord have mercy.......

12 comments:

oldgreymareprimitives said...

Could it be our moms were unknown twins? I feel for you and do know EXACTLY what it's like. I'm sorry that you must also deal with this type of situation...There is no good solution...

I too saw the documentary piece on music and dementia. I was fascinated and saddened to think how many nursing homes do not have the staff or the desire to make such changes. All they know is drugs... Great article in AARP about changes needed for these patients..

Hang on and protect your own heart

cookingwithgas said...

Dang, have some moments of peace while you are there.

Tracey Broome said...

Suzan, it is quite possible, haha! yep, drugs are what got my poor mother in law in the mess to begin with, hateful things!
Hey Meredith, yeah, the never ending story, right? there is a beach to walk on, Wesley is going with me, all little bright spots along this journey....

Trish said...

Thinking of you and your family, Tracey... Blessings from Canada.. T.

smartcat said...

Shades of my grandmother, who decided she was a feeble, ild lady when she reached 70 and proceeded to live until she was 94, making life as miserable as she could for the rest of the family. (But of course known as a lovely lady by the rest of the town!)
We all have difficult relations but we all have to deal with them in our individual ways. Your decision to be with your own family was a wise one. Hang in there!

Dennis Allen said...

Good luck. Don't let yourself get baited into arguments. Remember, the best gift any kid can give their parents is to be happy. Accept the fact that sometimes you will be powerless to change anything.Do what you can and don't beat yourself up about the rest.

Michèle Hastings said...

I hope that someone at the nursing home, or your father-in-law can remember to play her music for her.
Stay strong on your visit to the beach... and like Dennis said, don't engage with the negative, even though it's difficult to ignore.

Laura Farrow said...

oh dear... thinking of you.
focus on those Bloody Marys we'll be enjoying in a couple weeks.. xo

Vicki said...

Oh Tracey...
Thinking of you, and sending hugs.

So good that you have sweet Wesley with you.
Yes, long walks with your girl to help give your strength.
xox

littlemancat said...

Hoping for the best for you - deep breaths, think of the monks, and do as Dennis suggests - wise man!
Hugs,
Mary

Lori Buff said...

I love the idea of giving her the gift of music and memories.
This aging parent thing is very hard. I hope you can find some peace.

handstories said...

Good for you, for deflecting & protecting yourself. I'm determined not to go down to family next holiday. There's no reason we should all be unhappy.