Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Emotional roller coaster for sale

I love this photo Gerry shot of me one late night, firing my raku kiln. I remember that night so well. It was cold, I was trying to get a bunch of stuff fired for a show, and one beautiful pot after another came out of my reduction cans.

I love that feeling of opening up a can, after a raku reduction and seeing the magic. It makes your heart soar to see what you and some chemistry created together.  Firing at night made it seem even  more mystical, although I didn't do it that often.

Then there were the mornings I woke up, eager and excited to go downstairs and see what had happened overnight after an all day firing. More often than not, tears would follow. Pinholes, cracks, under firing, over firing, glaze running..... you name it, I did it. Poor Gerry..... the profanity and tantrums he endured. But I still got back up on that horse because pottery is an addiction that is hard to quit. Apparently I have a strong stomach for failure. But its only because the successes are so sweet, and that's what keeps you coming back for more. I fired some awful looking shite in this kiln, but I also fired some really beautiful work.

I got this kiln February of 2009. and it gave me years of excitement  and quite a few moments of tears. A roller coaster ride of emotions every time I fired it. The morning it arrived, the fool that delivered it dropped it at the end of my gravel driveway, right on the road, came knocking at my door to announce its arrival. That's where he planned to leave it. I somehow managed to talk him into at least bringing it closer to my house and I helped him drag it down the driveway. I rented a pallet jack and Gerry and I somehow got it around to the back of our house. I don't think I could do that these days. Neither could or would Gerry.

Now, I'm getting it ready to sell. Time to move on to the next chapter.

I thought this was going to be our next chapter. Last week, Gerry and I made an offer on this cabin. I check every morning and this house popped up last week.  I got in the car as soon as I saw it and went for a look. Yep, that's my dream house. Another couple was waiting to see it too. Called the realtor, got a look, and another couple showed up right after I saw it. Three showings on a house that listed that same day. Uh oh...... we made an offer..... we waited..... one of the others looking made a CASH offer, so guess who got the house. Not us. Who makes cash offers on houses?
Damn it!

One thing this whole process showed us is that we are not actually ready to buy a house. We have a house to sell. A house full of 10 years of hoarding (not really like the TV hoarders, but still...). Stuff has to go. Little girl is moving back in and bringing with her more stuff. We have work to do.

Maybe we should build what we want. We can't seem to find a house that fits us. A few weeks ago I found another place we both loved a lot. But it sat next to some rather large power lines, everything beneath the lines was dead, I guess from the poison they spray to kill the undergrowth (WHY?). I did some research. Found two obituaries, the owner's wife had suffered a long illness and died, and then the owner was said to have "died in his home". They were 60. Was the well water toxic, were the power lines to blame? Who knows, but Gerry said he didn't want to sleep in a house where a man died recently and I didn't want to drink the water, so pass......

Time to move, but where...........

Here is the little one that's coming back home. Wesley (left) and her friend Siobhan standing in front of the very building Wesley graduated from last weekend. We had come to visit her friend who was doing a summer workshop at UNCSA. It was Siobhan's dream to attend UNCSA for dance and Wesley was thinking about applying for film. Wes got in, Siobhan got a full scholarship to another school. Six years later, Wesley walked out of that very building with a BFA in Film. Another emotional roller coaster!  Now she is in L.A. pitching her documentary to investors.

Whew! Time sure gets filled up with a lot of stuff doesn't it!


Lori Buff said...

It’s been a long strange trip for you, I’m glad you’re finding some joy and peace.
Sorry about the house, it wasn’t meant to be.
How much are you asking for the kiln?

Tracey Broome said...

Hey Lori, it has been quite a journey these years!
I paid $2500 for the kiln, it's a good one. I'm thinking it will be around $1800 maybe less, need to do some checking around to see what a fair price is.

oldgreymareprimitives said...

Sometimes the roller coaster is necessary to finally have your feet firmly planted on the ground where you belong.

Trust the universe, your place is waiting for you to arrive...get to work on the purge and things will fall into place...
Remember the long path you took to the job you love...

Dennis Allen said...

I'm more of a merry go round kind of guy.

Tracey Broome said...

Wise words Suzan! Purge purge purge!
Dennis, I knda like the Merry go round myself, ready to hop off the thrill ride ha :-)

Scott Garrett said...

Gah! shame about that cabin Tracey. You'll find what you're looking for though. I'm a bit behind here, but well done to Wes! I've been keeping up, but not on the comments. Interesting times!

Michèle Hastings said...

Here I am working hard to get moved out of a cabin, while you were looking at one! The one in the photo is much more "civilized" than the one we are moving out of. Something will come your way that is just right for you. It may seem like our "find" happened quickly, but in reality it took two years.
It must have been a hard decision to sell your kiln.