Thursday, August 13, 2015

Some days you eat the bear

I recently received an email from a fitness company, ETB, asking me to blog about my fitness experience. At the end of the email there was a quote:
"Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you".
I've never heard this quote before, but it could become my mantra.

I have been feeling pretty much like the bear is eating me lately. Wesley is moving to California a week from today, and I have not felt like blogging for fear of what I might say on this matter. I will say that having my only child, who has lived with me for 22 years, move 3000 miles away is not sitting well and I am trying very hard to deal with it. I want her to go and live her life and be happy, but seriously, it's sooooo far away......... what about the Japanese culture where four generations all live together......

So I am eating the bear.

I am going to the gym nearly every day and getting my butt kicked. My motivation is twofold. Keep my mind off of the lump in my throat, and get my 54 year old creaky body back in shape. I bought a bunch of new gym clothes, and thanks to Weight Watchers two years ago, I don't look half bad working out. But man, am I out of shape! The things that used to come so easy to me in the gym are really hard now. Just getting up after some floor exercise is more of a challenge. I have had to choose much lighter weights. My core needs strengthening, my balance is sketchy, flexibility, not even. Cardio.... ugh. And that pain in my upper arm is still there, a mysterious bother. But its getting a little better every day.

I eat eggs from my chickens for protein, make smoothies with flax meal, hemp seeds, fresh fruits, leafy greens and almond milk. I'm taking fish oil and magnesium. Today for lunch,  I made Gerry and myself a salad with spinach, kale, arugula, chard, strawberries, blueberries, avocado, tomatoes and cucumbers from our garden, organic feta from happy cows, and hemp seeds, dressed it with olive oil and lemon juice. This is now my go to salad and it fills me up completely. No meat, trying to not eat fried food, can't give up chocolate, and every week or so, I want a cold fountain root beer. I keep a pitcher of cold green tea in the frig now and have one small cup of coffee in the mornings. Little to no sugar. Mostly fruits, grains, vegetables. But every now and then, there is pizza, or chocolate croissants...... and of course.... BEER. All things in moderation :)

I haven't taken a class at a gym in probably thirty years. But I took one today. It was a low impact class and I survived. Didn't really even feel like I would vomit. But the class was lead by a girl that was probably a cheerleader in high school, like yesterday, and it was odd. I felt silly and the workout was all rah rah and jerky and fast and I want a slow burn right now. So I probably won't do a class. I got this. I have worked out since I was in high school, except for the twenty years I stopped to be a mom.

So this is what I'm doing. I met with a personal trainer that got me started with the foam rollers to target trigger points in my muscles, to lengthen them and work out the knots that accumulate when you raise a child and make pottery for a long period of time. I am doing trigger point therapy every day and my body responds well to it. I stopped the acupuncture and chiropractic after my body looked like someone had punched me all over. The bruising was a bit much and nothing was happening.

I am working on strengthening my triceps, a very weak part of my body. Also working to strengthen the muscles in my legs so I can continue to get up from a chair or step up on a chair. My goal is to build support around my joints and build up muscle mass that I am rapidly losing. I'm using a stability ball to sit on while working on my upper body with weights so that my core has to work some too. I'm using light weights, no machines, all free weights and lots of static stretches. The first day I tried stretches on my own, the way the trainer showed me, my hamstring cramped so bad a wave of nausea came over me and I just laid on the gym floor in agony. Screw this being old business anyway! I want my body back. Who took the damn thing?! I really had no idea how weak I am getting. Time for this nonsense to end!

Of course, I could be doing all of this at home and save the cost of the gym membership. I have the mat and the weights and all the stuff. But, the thing is..... I get to the gym, the music is rocking, people are sweating and working hard and it makes me work a little bit harder than I might at home. I see the big strong dudes, flexing at the bench press, the young girls literally running their asses off on the treadmill, the weight machine people just going through the motions. Then there are the mat people. Since I have chosen to do free weights and stretches, I'm over in the area where the old people are, mostly. These are the folks that had a doctor tell them to go get a trainer and DO SOMETHING! I fall somewhere in between all of these folks. I see the young girls and know that is my past, but I look at these tottering old folks and see that could be my future. Oh HELL no! Its extremely motivating to see a man or woman near my age, that can't do one bicep curl or lunge. But hell yeah, they are trying and if they can do it, I sure can.

I will say my energy is off the charts. Wesley is dragging around here talking about being tired all the time, though lord knows I can't really figure out why. Today, I got up at 7:30, ate breakfast, went to the gym, worked out for an hour including cardio work. Then I came home fixed us some lunch, got dressed, went to work.  I loaded 40 pound bags of organic soil in cars, repotted five trays of plants, watered the greenhouse, took out the recycling, swept the floor, helped customers, cleaned up the potting room, moved all the plants inside when we closed. Got home at 8pm, Gerry had dinner waiting. Watched The Hatfields and McCoys, episode three and started writing this blog. It's 11pm and I am still wide awake.

There is a 6am Warrior Meditation at the gym on Fridays and I would really like to go. But, why 6am?!  I think it would be a great way to start the day though..... I might try.....  6am?

Eat the Bear


cookingwithgas said...

No, really, that is a big move, but there are aroplanes that will take you to her. Its hard, really hard. I get it, I got it, I own it.
It's never going to be what it was, but you got this.
Now, go eat a bear.

Dennis Allen said...

Our son moved to San Francisco right after college with $500 and the promise of a floor to sleep on.It worked out well for him and gave me an excuse for cross country trips.As for fitness, time marches on Feels like it marches right over me. I've got to remember to get out of the road.Good luck.

Tracey Broome said...

Hey Meredith, I envy you being able to drive to see your kids and grandkids. California is too many $$$ away for us these days.
Dennis, that's about what Wes has for her trip too, good to hear it worked for your son, gives me hope haha! Fitness has marched over me for too many years, time to get back on track, keep my mind off of other matters :)

Tracey Broome said...

BTW Meredith, when was the last time I saw you????

Michèle Hastings said...

I think 800 miles between Danielle and me is too far, I can't imagine 3000! It's great that you are channeling your stress in a positive way. Better to eat the bear than the beer.

Tracey Broome said...

Hey Michele, it sucks even if its an hour away, but what can you do? Kids gotta grow up and ave their own life..... none of the parenting books tell you about this part!

cookingwithgas said...

Too long Tb, much too long.....

Lori Watts said...

You mean those emails inviting me to blog about this, that, or the other thing are for real? I always figured they were some form of spam. LOL.

BTW, I read that only oldsters use "LOL" now. LOL some more.

Tracey Broome said...

Hi Lori: I thought it was spam too, but the dude was really nice and polite, I emailed him back and we exchanged a couple of conversations. I figure he was phishing but it gave me an idea for a blog post at least, LOL!! I like being an oldster, synonymous with smarter!

Lori Buff said...

You make me want to go work out, I think I’ll take a nap instead...hehehe.

I can’t imagine what you’re feeling about Wes moving so far away. Thankfully you can still visit each other using FaceTime or something similar. It’s not the same but it’s better than nothing.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Tracey, you know I'm at the beginning of this roller coaster of letting go. I think of you and Wes often in it. Lately, I've felt like I'm the bear & I'm eating myself, but I'm regrouping this week, taking deep breaths & trying to remember what it was to be seventeen. Hooray for you and your body work.

Tracey Broome said...

Hey Lori, naps are a much better option, but I'm determined to get some muscle back on these bones! As Cindy says, its a roller coaster of letting go. Cindy, this letting go business is not for the faint of heart, its the worst thing of parenting yet!

Shannon said...

Hey Tracey, finally came sweeping back through your blog, catching up on the summer and August and yikes! September, too. Geez o MAN. Good for you working out, settling into the yet-another-new normal, this one without a child at home. Good luck to you and Gerry and all the new shapes you'll take on. We are on this side of the dirt and it's a good thing.