Monday, May 4, 2020

50 Days


Shelter in Place, Stay at Home, Lock Down, Social Distancing, Quarantine. I have been doing this for 50 days. I have now started having COVID 19 dreams. I didn't at first, but this past week I have had several. Last night I dreamed I was walking around in a crowded mall and no one, including me, had a mask on. I suddenly realized it and started to panic. I tried to find my way out of the mall and couldn't't find an exit.  Anyone else having COVID dreams?

I have only been away from our house five times since this started. Three trips to the grocery and two ride alongs with Gerry,  looking for pictures with him. One day early on, we went out on a cold misty morning and drove through the country, looking for rural pics. The trees were just starting to bud, everything was that brilliant chartreuse green and pastel pink against a misty fog. It was so beautiful and I remember thinking, how could it be so horrible in other places when I was experiencing such beauty.


The first couple of weeks at the beginning of this virus attack I stayed home, I went back and forth from feeling depressed to feeling manic. I slept late, laid on the sofa a lot, watched the news (big mistake) played video games, (yes I do that!), didn't have much to say to anyone. I went out on the porch and cried at least once a day. I couldn't sleep. I missed work. Then, I started cleaning like a person possessed by a cleaning demon. I purged closets, old clothes got tossed, our very cluttered shed got organized, drawers were cleaned out, baseboards dusted, files sorted. 
All the while, the winds blew like March winds do, the rain came almost daily it seemed, the skies were gray, like my mood. 

Second phase was new cooking skills. I think I have read every cookbook I own now. I have prepared many breakfasts, lunches, snacks and dinners. I wash dishes constantly, no need to remind myself to wash my hands, they are almost always in water, washing greens or dishes.  I have learned to make tortillas, new breads, english muffins, pasta, and can fix kale and spinach one hundred different ways. Thank goodness we planted a winter garden last year. The kale s still going strong, lots of spinach in the freezer. Also, thank goodness I bought a freezer when this first began!



Third phase, the weather cleared, the sun came out, days got warmer, flowers started to bloom, starts were ready for the garden. We tilled the rows we grew hemp and flowers in last year, and decided we would grow vegetables instead.  These rows now have six varieties of tomatoes, several 
peppers-sweet and hot, okra, summer squash, Italian zucchini, cucumbers, cantaloupe and watermelon.  I did put in a row of sunflowers, which I think will be amazing as a border wall. I put in some zinnias too, just for fun.  Sooo excited to have 100 foot rows of vegetables in the ground and growing!

Sunrise Bumblebee  tomatoes from our kitchen garden last year, so good!

We also have a small kitchen garden in the backyard where we grew everything last year. It isn't big enough to grow food for a pandemic but its a nice little garden. I am now calling it the beans and greens garden. We have garlic, red and yellow onions from winter planting, cowpeas, bush beans, ground cherries, kale- three kinds, spinach (I just pulled that), basils: cinnamon, lemon, thai and tulsi. Also, epazote, one fig tree, blueberries, blackberries and some flowers for pollination. 

Since I have been working outside, my mood has lifted, I don't watch the news anymore, skim the headlines, edited and deleted much on FB, skim through there briefly, I read more blogs, and have found some new instagrams I really like a lot. There is so much to do when you have a big garden, who has time for a panic every day?! I guess this would be the denial stage, I seem to be going through phases much like the stages of grief I suppose. 

(Sandy Miller, this photo is for you xo)

Yesterday I washed the chickens butts. Never in my life did I once dream I would ever do that, but there it is, it has to be done.... and they seem to really like sinking down into the warm water, they coo and cluck and let me do this unholy thing to them. They give us eggs, I was their ass. 
Seems fair....  my sweet Sybil had to be put down year  before last because she got fly strike, a horrible thing for a chicken's ass. You can look it up, I don't want to describe it here, ick. So we try and keep a close eye on our other girls. We have discovered they love kale, so every day they follow me to the garden gate and wait patiently for me to pick some for them.  

smothered, covered and chunked

And so life goes on, not as planned, but I have never been one to establish a five year plan. Living with a photojournalist for 40 years has taught me to always be prepared for the unexpected, and plans will often change at the last minute. The news doesn't wait for you to plan for it!  There isn't much I miss with this quarantine. I miss normal grocery shopping. I miss going for breakfast with Wesley at her favorite Waffle House. I miss our local Mexican restaurants, but I am learning to cook pretty great Mexican dishes. I miss lattes at Reeds coffee shop, they have the Best coffee,  and I miss meeting our friend Martha Grove there for conversation.  I don't miss much of the social aspect. I like to be alone, I don't like groups of people. People wear me out, I think retail has done that to me more than anything. I like the merchandising part of my work, not so much the people part. I traveled for many of my previous jobs, I loved the travel, but it was time for a rest. This is a nice pause for me. I needed to get some things done here.

this place is in Bennettesville SC, our stop on the way to the beach,
they used to have the best tamales I have ever had!

How are all of you coping? Will this ever end? Last night Wesley asked us after dinner to tell her what we thought was something important to know about life. No pressure there, right?! I answered, but later, I thought about the question again, I went to her room with another answer. Good topic for another blog post, I'll save that for another day!

What is important to you?





2 comments:

oldgreymareprimitives said...

I love you girl but why oh why did you ever mention flystrike. OF COURSE I had to look it up and now I'll have nightmares, thank you very much <3

Tracey Broome said...

Yeah, you haven't really experienced life until you clean maggots out of a huge hole in a chickens ass..... poor Gerry did most of the work, I gagged a lot!