Friday, July 22, 2016

Did you throw up a little bit?

I adore Michele Obama. Did you see her carpool karaoke singing Single Ladies? Can she please be president?

Did you watch the convention speeches this week? Are you scared like me? Did you throw up a little bit? 

Does Ted Cruz remind you of the munckins in Wizard of Oz?

Can North Carolin please stop trying to win the award for most idiotic state? 

Gov. Pat McCrory signed a bill Thursday that would prohibit sex offenders who have been identified as threats to minors from places like arcades, parks, libraries and the State Fairgrounds during the fair. It takes effect in September.

One million people visited the state fair in 2015. Can you tell me how they will keep out the sex offenders come September?

Can someone tell me when our country filled up with the dumbest fuckers on the planet?

Monday, July 18, 2016

Video release

The music video Wesley and Lazarus have been working on in California was released today. It has taken them months to get this shot, edited, produced and then finally getting the record company to release it. It was shot around Santa Rosa and San Francisco, really beautiful
I am proud.....

Here's a link

Friday, July 8, 2016

There's not always a worm in the corn....

I got my big bad company truck this week! It only took them four months to get it to me, but better late than never. Its really fun to drive, handles well and nobody rides up my ass anymore out on I-40. what a relief to be the ass rider for once!  I guess I might be a borderline redneck, but only in the good ways, I love driving this truck, I love Budweiser beer, I love country music and I can totally relate to these good old boys I'm working with.... maybe I'm just a chameleon haha! Craziest job I have ever had, that's for damn sure!

The weather is pretty crazy now too. I have been on the road all week and running from these evening storms. Sometimes I win, sometimes they win. The storm won last night. I was between Kinston and Goldsboro, crossing some farmland when a big bad storm came up out of nowhere. It was the first time I have ever seen 18 wheelers literally stop in the middle of the road. There was a brown dust cloud blowing off the farm across the road, mixed with hurricane force winds and rain and my heart was a thumping in my ears!

I thought it might be a tornado but it didn't have that sound a tornado has. Ive been in a tornado so I know what it sounds like, trust me.... it was a scary scary storm. I sat there with my seatbelt on wondering if my truck was going to flip over. At least its a big bad truck, so I felt pretty safe. Sat there and ate, checked emails, pondered the ending of my life..... this was the storm I ran from tonight, I won.

The banners I designed are in and I have spent the week sorting them and getting them distributed to stores. The stores I trust to put them up got theirs by truck, the stores I just like to go visit or don't trust to do it my picky way, got a personal install by me. By the end of July, I will have 20 stores complete with new resets. It has been a journey my friends......

Yesterday in New Bern, the gauge in my truck said 107 degrees when I got in it after working in the store all day.  I feel like my contacts are melting in my eyeballs when I walk outside and my hair and clothing is just in a constant state of damp. It's hot ya'll. The poor people that move here from up north to get away from those cold winters. I just have to laugh. They had no idea what summer in the south was gonna be like!

But this is what summer in the south is really like. Sweet summer corn. I stopped for lunch today and there was a farm stand in front of this corn field. A very old African American man was driving up to the stand on his tractor with a load of corn on the trailer he was pulling. I wish I had a photo, but I just stood there taking in the Dorthea Lange moment of it.  What a sight to behold. God I love the south! Got me some corn, he said to put the silk end in first so my bag wouldn't tear, smart....  then I got some cantaloupe that smelled like a perfume God might make, some tomatoes and drove happily home with the smell of summer in my 107 degree heated car.  Turned on the radio and got ready to race the storms. I got home early and the storm hit just after I had a tomato sandwich for supper.

So anyway, about that worm in the corn metaphor. As most of you are aware, I'm sure, NPR only talked about the events of this week, the shootings, the waste of life, the continuing decay of a society obsessed with violence and race..... I listened to as much as I could stand, and then turned it off.

And then...... this gentle black man brought corn up on his tractor....

and then.... I was in a store and overheard a conversation three young teen African American girls were having. It went something like this: "I think we all just ought to get along and care for each other, and stop all this shooting, the Bible says we should love each other and Jesus loved everyone".  and then they smiled at me and said hello.......

and then I went in a convenience store and the African American woman at the register smiled at me and asked me to "Have a blessed day"......

and then I saw a highway patrol officer on the side of the road in his ridiculous hot uniform, on his knees helping a guy change a flat on his boat trailer...... and then as I pumped gas another police officer pulled up at the tank beside me, got out and smiled and said hello.  (Of course, I'm a white girl, but still, he was nice.)

Every encounter I had with "people of color"  and police officers was a pleasant and kind moment today. We didn't want to kill each other, we didn't hate each other, we just recognized we were human and treated each other as we would like to be treated. It was a relief to have these moments when so many are in pain today and not feeling that kindly towards each other. I feel like I did have a blessed day and I thank that beautiful black woman that smiled and asked me to have one!  There's not always a worm in the corn
peace y'all

Monday, July 4, 2016


Losing freedom more and more each day......

Practicing touch and goes at Seymour Johnson Airforce base, pretty spectacular to sit and watch these guys. Happy Independence Day, lets hope it will mean something again one day.....

Saturday, June 25, 2016

.....and then she flew away

A couple of years ago for Mother's Day, Gerry surprised me with these crazy chickens. They have become our constant source of entertainment and they are fitting in nicely here at our new place. They have started following Gerry everywhere he goes, and if he calls them, "come on girls", they come running. Who would have ever thought chickens could be so great.

This year for Fathers Day, I got Gerry two blueberry bushes, and I flew Wesley home from California as a surprise! She could only stay the week but it was a great week. Much too short a visit, but we squeezed a lot in. We went to a local garden store and bought a bunch of flowers for planting, since she has this new love for plants. She went one day and helped me reset a store, since I still had to work some this week. We cooked great meals, watched TV at night, ate popcorn, talked, laughed, cried, she visited her mentor/teacher at her old high school. Her mind is full and many decisions will probably be made in the coming months. She left with promises to be back soon, and I believe she just might be.

We continue to unpack, repair, build shelves, plant, garden, explore, and discover here in our new home. We were so happy to share our new place with Wesley and she will always have a home here with us if she needs/wants it.

We took her out for breakfast this morning and then said goodbye at the airport. Always the hardest thing, but at least I have stopped crying every time she leaves! I don't have a lot of photos, I tried to refrain from pointing the camera at her constantly. Poor girl, thats how she grew up.

I am in awe of my child. She has fears and anxiety, she is seeking her path, but she moves on bravely and with strength in her heart. Some days her face is so full of her doubts, but it still shines so bright. I hope her journey though this life will be easier as she finds herself and finds the thing that will fit with her many talents.  My brave beautiful girl..... I do love that child!

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Home, at last

 We are slowly settling in to our new house. This past six months have been something of a blur for me. This was a hard won house, but worth every sleepless night, every tear, every angry outburst. Its our home. This is the first house I have lived in that has felt like me. Other houses we have lived in have been nice enough, but they never fit me. This one fits like an old pair of favorite jeans. Gerry and I have been a united force, battling everything that got thrown at us, and basically just holding each other up through it all. Amazingly, we never had one argument. We just fought the good fight for what we wanted.

This is my view as I pull out of the driveway. Our neighbor across the street, with their geese and their horses and a beautiful little pond.

 I found this Roy Rogers print in an antique store the other day. He was my hero growing up. I got up every Saturday morning and rode my broomstick horse into the den to watch his show, while my mom slept and my dad was who know where....  I didn't realize how connected I felt to western things until I started to unpack all my books. So many books about the west, Native Americans, ghost towns, decorating books by Mary Emmerling. I love the west, the way it used to be in the old spaghetti westerns.

 Gerry found this old wash stand in the woods, the previous owner left all this tack hanging in the barn.  I love finding treasure!

This is my new friend, my neighbor.  I can't remember her name, but she greets me every evening when I walk down the drive to get the mail.

I brought out some old friends. My barns are fitting in nicely here.

The other day, after a long day of unpacking and moving things around, I sat down in this chair in this beautiful sunlight and actually read a chapter in a book. When was the last time I did something so restful? It felt amazing, just sitting there and reading. This is the house we will retire in. One day, my days will be filled with sitting and reading. What a day that will be!

Gerry's drums have been packed away for years. We made a music room out of one of the upstairs bedrooms. Wesley's keyboard, guitars, amps, and many drums. Finally room for all of our toys!

I have my loom set up, slowly hauling crates and crates of books upstairs. Yesterday I worked on unpacking art supplies. More old friends....

The kitchen is an absolute joy to cook in. The gas stove cooks better than any I have ever had, the space is small but efficient, and I love cooking in it. We are working in the yard and house every hour that we have beyond our other work, and we stop around 8pm to grab a quick dinner, watch a little Netflix and then collapse in bed. A good kind of tired, finally.

Yesterday I washed all of our sheets and hung them on the line to dry. Is there anything better than crawling into bed at night with the smell of line dried sheets? I looked out from the back porch at the scene. Sheets blowing gently with the breeze, Gerry planting sweet peppers and blueberry bushes that I got him for Father's Day, the chickens following our new rooster around, the cat lounging on the steps, the faint sound of a horse whinny in the distance, and all was right with my world. At last.

We have a start on a garden. Gerry has worked to do some repairs on the raised beds. We got some tomato and pepper starts in the ground and planted some basil and some flowers. Nothing too ambitious, it is mid June, after all. Wait.... where did summer go so fast!?

The chickens love their new coop, perks of working for a company that sell buildings. I got a sweet deal on this one.

I need some rockers for the front porch, for days when there are no more boxes to unpack.
I realized last night as I sat out in the yard, that I am happy. I haven't been happy in a very long time. The sadness of Wesley's move to California, the stress of selling our house, trying to buy three other houses that we lost, finally finding this house, then almost losing it. Having a new, very difficult job. Its taken its toll. I suffered health problems from it all and I'm sure there was some depression there. But there was no time to wallow in it, just get up, and soldier on. This was the reward for all of it. The bright light at the end of the dark tunnel I wandered in for almost a year. This is a new beginning. This is good

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Epic move

It's hard to believe I am actually saying this, but we have moved and are settling in to our new home! Whew, this was one hard earned house. We started this process with the listing of our old house back in October, and tomorrow the final papers will be signed. Funds have been transferred from the sale of our old house and we close on the new one tomorrow. The seller was kind enough to let us move in this weekend prior to closing. So we packed up on Thursday and here we are. For the first time, last night we walked around in the yard and accepted the fact that this is our new house, and we are in utter disbelief that it has finally happened!

We hired Two Men and a Truck to move us. This is the third time this company has moved us and its always a pleasure. Their staff is professional, friendly and for us they have always been funny and seem to really enjoy what they are doing. It makes things so much better when people are handling your grandmother's heirlooms if you feel like they care. And they are pretty affordable.

I didn't even have to take my loom apart, they just wrapped it and handled it with care, and it arrived all in one piece.

I walked into our empty house for the last time and my heart began to beat a little faster. So many memories in this house, but it was really time to go. There were no tears, just a little lump in my throat and then it was gone.

 I have moved with a one year old, I have moved with two dogs, a bird and this cat in my car, I have moved in a tiny Volkswagon, but moving with this cat is the worst. She howls the entire time. Sometimes she craps, sometimes she vomits, sometimes she does both. I have tried putting her in a carrier, in a box, and this time I just put a milk crate over her in the front seat. And she proceeded to get her head stuck while she howled. If you saw my instagram, you know what I'm talking about!

I finally got her unstuck and let her just roam around in the car. All the while going 65 mph down I40.
She is about 16 years old, and I was afraid she might have a heart attack or something. But she survived and has explored every inch of the house. She seems content.

We went back for the chickens the next day because the coop I ordered from my company hasn't arrived yet, and we left them in their old coop for one more day. This is also epic, moving chickens, although they handled it better than the cat. Until we got to our new house and they met the neighbor's rooster, who apparently thinks he lives with us....

This is a pretty cool rooster. Our chicks freaked out when we let them out of the car. He didn't really attack them, but he wanted to get to know them, if you know what I'm saying. Etta, my more docile chicken, kinda the mother hen, is smitten. She thinks he's her boyfriend. He comes around here at 6am and starts cock a doodling. I hated this at our old house with the mean old rooster that lived next door, but for some reason I don't mind this guy. I got up, fixed myself a cup of tea, and went out in the yard to watch our chickens figure this out. He is like a border collie with some sheep. He herds them around but in a gentle way. He isn't aggressive and seems to really think this is his job, to look after my girls. Its so fun to sit on the porch and watch this.

I feel very blessed, relieved, exhausted, and I wish more than anything that Wesley was here to enjoy this with us. This house is amazing and I still can't believe it is ours. I'l post some fotos once I get some made. We have unpacked about a third of our stuff. Today we tackle the pod, ugh.....
But we are home at last.