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Thursday, April 26, 2012

She cried....

 So yesterday was a perfect day. We celebrated my child's birth. I had started the week bracing myself with the knowledge that she would not be home from college for her birthday and I talked myself into believing that was fine. But then she called me Monday morning and said she had to come home, that she couldn't be at school for her birthday and like any good mom, I told her it was fine to miss classes and to get in her car and come on! So, she missed the screening of the first film she has written and created on Tuesday night and she missed the last of her academic classes, but my week was brighter and my life made richer because we shared the start of her 19th year. I was with this child when she took her very first breath in this world and I am a better person because I have had her in my life. So what if she missed a few days of school. She got to walk through the fields of this land we want, as the wind blew fiercely across the grass, she got to eat good food that wasn't murdered by chemicals and overcooking, she got to rest in her bed with her down comforter, she got to hear the rain fall on our roof, she got lots of hugs from her mom and dad, beautiful gifts of art from wonderful talented women,
she found new Steinbeck and Faulkner books at the thrift store and she left to go back and finish up her first year of college, rested and peaceful.


 We had a great breakfast with whole grain pancakes and tea and then we gave her these wonderful pieces of art from my friends.
She got a bit teary and I got a bit teary and I was so happy to have a child that appreciated gifts like this instead of the latest greatest electronic gadget.
As parents, Gerry and I have tried to give Wesley an appreciation for great music, great books, great art, nature, long walks, and photographs. We have taught her the importance of well crafted work, integrity, honesty and the value of true work and being true to who you are. I think we have done well as parents. From the time she was a tiny little girl, we respected who she was as a person, we gave her a voice, and valued her opinion. We brought her into the world in a quiet and gentle way. When I was pregnant, I would turn off all the lights and put in this CD Mickey Hart made of a child's heartbeat inside it's mom accompanied by instruments that he played. It was called, Music to be Born By. I played that CD for Wes recently and it brought me right back to the time when she was inside me.  After she was born, we played CDs of nature sounds in her room as she slept and I kept her room very dim and gentle. I believe these early influences truly affected the way she gently moves on this Earth now and it makes me sad that we don't insist that children be brought into this world that way. It should be every child's birthright to come into this world quietly and gently and have a peaceful world, but sadly, for so many it's not that way......
The Farm.......
I took Wesley out to see the farm we have fallen in love with. The wind was fierce while we were there and I felt as if I was standing in an Andrew Wyeth painting. I just needed to lay down in that grass on my side and it would have been Christina's World :)
We love this piece of land, the apple orchard, the peach trees, the lilacs, the grapevines, the pond, the duck. Unfortunately, the owner put up the ugliest plastic house on this land, with cheap building materials and a strange floor plan and then they smoked cigarettes inside so the house stinks of stale cigarettes. If you stand and look outside the windows and hold your nose, you can love this place, but what to do? I feel shallow being such a snob about this house when there are people that are losing their homes every day. But I am a Libra, and we wither and die if our environment is unpleasant, that's just the way it is. Having been an interior designer for twenty some years also does not help my snob factor when it comes to houses. It's not that I want a mcmansion. Quite the opposite, I would love a 100 year old farm house, back when they built things right and plastic houses did not exist. I want a fireplace, not a metal box with gas logs in it, I want wood floors, not vinyl wood look, I want cabinets that are not so shallow that my dishes won't even fit in them. I want windows that are wood frames, not metal.
What has happened to us as a nation? We have put up shoddy construction all over this land, we educate our children poorly, we elect idiots to run our government, we poison our food supply with GMO seeds and growth hormones and chemicals, we inject the land with toxins to blow out the gas beneath, we take a pill for any ailment because the TV tells us to, we feed our kids junk, and we have all but lost true journalism, our newspapers are becoming a thing of the past and no one is reporting honest and true stories anymore. No wonder we are looking at this land. We want to move out there and shut the door and make it all go away! But I can't find a way to live in this ugly space. Do I just suck it up and do what I can to make it look better, or do we pass and look for something else? We want a piece of land that will sustain us because we can no longer count on our food supply to be safe. I spend so much time in the grocery store now reading labels, I am so glad the farmer's markets are back in action so I don't have to go there, but there are times we have to get things at the grocery.
It's all so sad and there are so many that are not educated and don't even know or care what is happening to their bodies as this country poisons everyone. What about them!?!?!
Whew.... that feels better, just had to get that out! Looking at this property and the possibilities has me all stirred up!!!
Hope all of you have a great rest of the week. I have done nothing but enjoy my family, but that is a gift and I am blessed that I can do that. I really got to get some work made though......
peace ya'll
xo

12 comments:

Dennis Allen said...

Good work on the child rearing. As far as the house goes, we need pictures

cookingwithgas said...

bulldozer??
I know - I know- I know....

Laura Farrow said...

as divine as that land is... I believe there are other beautiful spots with better houses on them. I say, hold out for a better fit. It's out there!

yolande clark said...

So inspiring, Tracey! I hope Horus and Treva and mystery baby grow up crying over Art, and family, and wide open fields. You guys are so lovely!

(And you're a Libra! Like Lee and Horus, and my infuriating but wonderful little sister--lots of hot air in this family--and I'm the nutty airy Aquarian. Oh dear--this must be why the universe gave us Treva, little sensible Virgo. Can't wait to get our new Leo baby stirring things up even more. Wowzer).

The land looks *amazing*....but what a conundrum in terms of the house...I agree with you--give me a crumbling old wooden shack anyday--oh wait, I have that! (I love our ancient house, but it is *definitely* tumbledown!).

go with your heart.

Michele said...

Where I live, I would say location is the most important thing, and change the house as you can. But, if you have locations to choose from, wait for it. A house with a soul is so important for those of us who can see it. I understand the need for beauty, as opposed to grandeur.

Tracey Broome said...

Hey Dennis, I took photos but they are t inspiring and worthy of blog space:)
Meredith, yes bulldoze, or better yet bring a truck and haul it off!
Laura, I'm sure there are other spots it's just that the price is sooo right n this spot!
Yolande, you poor thing, living with two libras! Aquarious is a good fit though, one of my best friends in school was Aquarius and we complemented each other nicely. I hate to tell you the things that make you crazy about Lee,, the indecision and such never get better, poor you:). But we make good lives for ourselves! The stars in your family are going to make for some interesting times, haha!

Tracey Broome said...

Oh hey Michele, you popped in after I finished the last reply!
YES! A house with soul, I must have that!!!
The change I would like to make to this house is to see it in the recycling center :)

Michèle Hastings said...

Jeff and I looked at some property last year... the location was great for a pottery... the house and studio had bad energy. i couldn't envision myself living there.

you will know what decision is right.

Tracey Broome said...

Yeah, that energy thing..... I can feel it when it's not right and I just back away. Afraid this might be one of those times... sigh....

Hollis Engley said...

Tracey, the best thing we do in our lives is open the world for our kids. Show them and then let them go and figure it out. Having had the privilege of meeting Wesley, it's easy to see you guys did your job right.
As for the house ... I'm with Meredith. A D9 Caterpillar would solve the problem. Sounds like the land is too good for a house like that.

angela walford said...

awww just read through a bunch of your posts....all good stuff trace you pour your heart out and we watch on! big love trace :))

Tracey Broome said...

Yeah, Hollis, my first thought was to just knock down the place, but there are no $$ to put another up right now. Hey Ang, glad you are out there, some days that heart pouring is regrettable but there is no turning back now :)