Dear Mom and Dad:
Merry Christmas! This year, above all, I am grateful to be home with the two of you, that we are all healthy and happy, here in this cozy home. That is the greatest gift of all.
Today, as we celebrate the occasion long ago when Jesus was dropped off by aliens, this painting of us as alien deer commemorates that. I hope you like it.
I love you guys and all of these gifts are just a small token of that Happy Happy Christmas!
She packed up Monday and left to go back to school. The house is still, quiet. Gerry had to go over to Raleigh to photograph the POTUS (president of the United States) and I am here alone. I have candle lit in our front room that is now going to be the place I am going to try and do yoga every morning. There is a thick fog and the crows are crowing at my window. Peace fills this room.
Back to a house without a child in it. It takes a few days to readjust when Wes leaves. We get into such a pattern together. We have tea at the kitchen table in the mornings, we sit and talk late in the afternoons, we cook together, we eat dinner together, we go shopping, we go buy books and music, we visit friends. And then, poof, she is gone, and I have to get into a different pattern. Last night in my sleep I heard her say Mom, and it woke me up. Scary, unsettling......
My mother once said to me that I was her whole life, that her life revolved around me and depended on me and without me she had nothing. This is a heavy burden to bare. I have tried to keep that in mind and never believe that about Wesley. She is the thing I love most in the world, her and her dad, but I have a life and don't depend on her for all of my happiness and existence. This helps me let her go. I have things that I am interested in and I enjoy our separate space as much as I enjoy our time together. A healthy balance.
This is Jasper. Wes emailed me this photo yesterday. We gave her an aquarium for her room at school for Christmas and now I have a grandchild. I love him like that, and lord help me, I miss the fish too! We kept him in the kitchen during the holidays and I got used to watching him while I washed the dishes or cooked. Now that space is empty too.
I may have to get a fish.....
Love you , Wesley, come home sooooon!