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Friday, October 4, 2013

Still saying goodbye


I received the most beautiful card from my friend Shannon Bueker this week (Not Now Kato blog here). This painting looks just like Tyler as a puppy. Gerry and I were both so touched by this card and Shannon's kind words. Shannon's work is extraordinary and I am pleased to have two of her pieces. One is a watercolor we gave Wesley for her birthday and one is a chicken painting I got for my birthday. Most of her work is out of my budget, but thankfully she is a smart artist and creates affordable pieces so we can all have a Shannon painting. One of these days I would love to buy a certain llama painting she has.....
I am so very lucky to be surrounded by artist friends. Artists are just some kind of special, aren't they!?


The cremation is finally over and I brought Tyler home in this beautiful little box. Carrying that box into this house was one of the most surreal experiences I have ever had. The vet also made a clay tile with his paw print for us. It isn't fired, so I worry that it will get broken. It is in a tin, but still, very fragile. I may try and find out what sort of clay they used and see if I can fire it in my kiln....


I seem to be creating little alters all over the place these days. One for his box with my beautiful Avalanche Looms weaving, one with his card and his paw print, and his food bowl with little heart rocks and a piece of his leach I cut and saved. This was one of the first bowls I ever made at Clayworks in Charlotte. That was a great glaze....


Little stripey rocks on the kitchen table from Elizabeth Bunsen, and a new page in the art journal Wes and I are sharing. She wrote this for my birthday. In all the years of celebrating my birthday, I never considered that it was the beginning of a new year. We always base "a new year" on January 1, but really each of us has our own "new year" don't we? This does feel like a fresh new year, full of promise and new beginnings. I am looking forward to 53. I just don't look forward to coming through the door each day when I get home. Tyler is no longer standing at the door, blocking my way so that I have to push past him. It is a feeling I have not moved past yet, that anticipation of him being there. Time will take care of these memories but they are still so fresh....

Thanks Shannon for the card, it will be long treasured!
xo

PS: thanks for all the comments yesterday, Gerry and I were up in the hills so I didn't check in until late. Love your comments!!!!!
xo

10 comments:

ShellHawk said...

I'm so sorry you lost your fur child! It's really amazing what a hole they leave in your heart when they go.

*hugs*

Sandy miller said...

Ran across an empty collar and clay foot print when I cleaned out the studio...... I stood there kind of lost for minute. I think these guys just have a chunk of our hearts.

Be well........ And run with the pack :)

Michèle Hastings said...

About a month after I lost my dog to cancer I told Danielle that I would donate her almost new, collar and leash to the NH Animal Rescue League. She was working there at the time and always needed items like this. When I took them out of the drawer they were kept in, I began to cry. I knew I couldn't part with them.
I believe that the shrines and rituals are a necessary part of the healing process.
May the new year bring you love and happiness.

Susan Wells said...

Oh Dear. Some things don't go away do they? You seem to be doing a stellar job integrating what is.

cookingwithgas said...

It takes time.
And how nice to have him honored by you and friends.
Rocks- we are girls that love rocks.
My mother loved rocks, me and now Mara who tried to hard to take home a few beauties from the garden in Va. when we were there.
She looked so hard at her Opa when he told her they had to stay... she was not sure she believe him.
Hugs,
M

Dennis Allen said...

Time and friends are healing. You have both.

Laura Farrow said...

xoxo.

Shannon said...

You are welcome, Tracey. Good for you finding sacred spots and markers all over your house and your person. It's good to have "your people" in the once upon a time and in the here and now.

Amy said...

that glaze is gorgeous from CWorks. and those stones with stripes too are beautiful... And sorry to hear about the passing of your dog. dogs give such unconditional love! will be in touch soon. I plan to be in chapel hill in the next couple weeks... would be great to meet you!

Claudia from Idiot's Kitchen said...

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dog. I love the idea of little shrines around the house...especially with the heart shaped rocks.